Our new Solid Start marriage group just started this last Sunday, and in preparing to facilitate the class, I've been reading Dr. John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  As I prepared to lead, I realized that God was working and changing me through the process.  It's amazing how sometimes we think we're doing something for God, and the reality is that He's doing something for us!  This quote stood out to me in my preparation:

"94% of the time the way a discussion starts determines the way it will go." - John Gottman

As I read this from The Seven Principles, I knew a big discussion was coming up with my husband later that day.  I made a conscious decision that I would begin the conversation with my husband as calmly and respectfully as I could, even though I was inwardly frustrated.  After work, I asked him if there was time to chat about the subject, and he agreed that we should talk about it.  I started out by telling him my reasons for feeling the way I do, and as I calmly explained them, my husband listened and asked questions for clarification. In the end, we came to an agreement, much more quickly and much more easily than I had expected!  Later that night as we were going to bed, he said to me, "Thank you for being so calm when you could have been frustrated."  My effort had not gone unnoticted!  

We've been married for just under five years, but we are still learning every day.  By the grace of God, I am empowered with His Holy Spirit to make choices that are good and healthy for my marriage when my nature sometimes tells me to act according to my own will.  Thank God we have forgiveness through Christ for all those times when I follow my own ways!  

My prayer as we go through this marriage study together is that God will shape me and mold me so that I model His grace, love, and forgiveness to my spouse.  How is God opening your eyes to His will and His ways?